*DISCLAIMER** Scarecrow & Mrs. King is copyrighted to Warner Brothers and Shoot The Moon Production Company. The original portions of this story, however, are copyrighted to the author. This story is for entertainment purposes only and cannot be redistributed without the permission of the author. Situations and a few lines have been used from the episode “Reach For The Sky”, written by Ron Landry and Tom Biener.  Some information on interrogation techniques was gleaned from the Stan B. Walters & Associates website. No infringement of copyright is intended.

 

Title:    One Heart, One Life, One Truth

 

Author:             Mary

 

Date written:    April – September, 2000

 

Rating:  R

 

Summary:  Lee and Amanda struggle with the aftermath of a case that hits a little too close to home. This story, set in 1996, is the conclusion to the With or Without You series. 

 

Author’s notes: Warning: This story deals with adult themes and the tough choices and/or situations sometimes faced by female agents in the field.  If you need more information before reading, please feel free to e-mail me at mcmsnb@aol.com.

 

 

One Heart, One Life, One Truth

 

Prologue

 

She stood alone at her kitchen window, watching the explosion of color in the east. The quiet of the early morning was a soothing contrast to the hectic pace of her life.  It was in these few magical minutes that she could distinctly hear the echoes of their past…

 

A hastily exchanged smile as they both hurried to work…

 

Laughter welling up from deep inside as they shared a private joke…

 

Their children playing quietly in the background of their lives…

 

And the words, drifting to her through a hazy fog of memory - one heart, one life, one truth.

 

One heart… demanding a choice…

 

One life… blended from two...

 

One truth… nothing stayed the same.

 

 

 

Chapter One

 Sunday, August 25, 1996: 

“Amanda”

 

The warm summer breeze fanned her face as she set another pitcher of lemonade on the picnic table.  She quickly surveyed the scene, making sure nothing else was needed. Everyone seemed to be having a good time, enjoying the pleasant conversation and the relaxing hush of a Sunday in late August.

 

Her guests all seemed so happy, their troubles carefully put away for the afternoon.  It was an eclectic mix of personalities, this group she considered her extended family. Her ex-husband, Joe, and Jonathan Stone were animatedly discussing the town’s latest political debacle. Francine Desmond Stone was perched nearby, surveying the scene as she absently fingered the buttons on her blouse.

 

An Armani original, Amanda thought with a smile, recognizing the label. Marriage and motherhood had not altered Francine’s sense of style one iota.  She watched as her friend followed the conversation with polite boredom. She could sympathize. After spending her workdays knee-deep in politics and intrigue, she would prefer it not intrude on her weekend, either.

 

Her gaze wandered to the middle of the yard. Phillip and Jamie, both home for the occasion, were tossing a baseball with their little brother, while Francine’s six-year old daughter, Jackie, looked on with unconcealed admiration.  Amanda smiled as she listened to her oldest son explaining the finer points of pitching to her youngest.

 

Amanda liked nothing better than to see her three boys together. They were all so different, yet equally special. Phillip, twenty-three, now in his second year of law school; Jamie, the serious, sensitive one, a senior at Georgetown, majoring in psychology; and her youngest, Matthew Robert, named for his grandfather and his great-uncle, currently pursuing a career in Little League. They covered all ends of the spectrum.

 

On the far side of the patio, her mother was busy recounting the highlights of her latest airplane flight to a captive audience. Joe’s wife, Carrie, and Jeannie Melrose both grinned benignly as Dotty waxed enthusiastic about ‘glide paths’ and ‘winds aloft’. Kate Markham, Phillip’s girlfriend of two years, listened with rapt attention. Amanda had a feeling that after today, Phillip might have a hard time keeping that girl’s feet on the ground.

 

She really was proud of her mother. It had taken her five long years, but she had finally done it. Amateur pilots, beware… Dotty West had joined their ranks. Amanda couldn’t help but grin at the image of her mother actually piloting a plane. She remembered a time when she could barely drive a car.

 

She instinctively sought out Lee, to share her joke with him, then stopped herself. The unspoken communication they’d developed over the years was a luxury she couldn’t afford these days.  She was afraid of what she might find if she looked into his eyes too closely.

 

His voice floated to her from across yard. From his affectionate tone, she knew he was talking to Jenny. She risked a quick glance, her face unconsciously softening at the sight of father and daughter sitting together side by side.

 

She almost couldn’t believe that their ‘baby’ was turning five today. She was glad everyone had been able to make it this afternoon for the party. The years flew by so quickly; special occasions were the only time they had for get-togethers anymore.

 

The birthday girl certainly seemed to enjoy being the center of her father’s attention as she held court under the sheltering branches of the old oak tree. Amanda marveled at her small daughter. After four tries, she had finally succeeded in producing a child who looked exactly like her. And, like her, she had eyes only for Lee.

 

 “Hey, Mom.”

 

Phillip’s voice interrupted her nostalgia. She looked up to see her son walking towards her, his face lit up with an impish grin.

 

“Jamie and I thought maybe you’d show Matty your famous hook slide.”

 

“Very funny,” she replied, giving him a look.

 

“You know how to do a hook slide, Mrs. Stetson?” Kate asked, turning towards Amanda and Phillip with a smile.

 

“Not too well, I’m afraid.” Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jenny dragging Lee towards the picnic table.

 

“Amanda used to coach Phillip and Jamie’s team,” her mother explained with a laugh. “In another lifetime.”

 

Amanda shot her mother an exasperated look. Ten years, and she still couldn’t resist needling her about the past.  Sometimes she wished her mother would just agree to marry Curt. It might give her a whole new perspective on life.

 

“Mom was a great coach,” she heard Phillip state in a teasing voice. “She single handedly guided our team into last place - and still managed to make the world safe for democracy.”

 

Everyone laughed at Phillip’s remark, including Amanda. She had to hand it to him – he always seemed to know exactly how to diffuse the tension in any situation. He would make a good mediator.

 

“I think it’s nice that your mom took time to coach,” Kate retorted, slapping Phillip soundly in the ribs. “My mother spent most of my childhood in a courtroom.”

 

“I guess that happens when you’re one of the top trial lawyers in New York,” Joe put in kindly. “Are you thinking of following in her footsteps, Kate?”

 

The group turned towards Kate expectantly and Amanda could feel her discomfort.

 

 Phillip came to the rescue again. “Actually, Dad, Kate’s mother said there would be a spot for both of us in her firm after we graduated.”

 

Amanda watched as Joe twisted uncomfortably in his chair. No wonder Kate had been so reluctant to say anything – she knew from Carrie that Joe half expected Phillip to go into practice with him.

 

“I see,” Joe said in steely voice. “Are you considering it?”

 

“Yes,” Phillip said, reaching for Kate’s hand. “We’re both giving it some serious thought.”

 

“You should,” his father returned. “You know, it’s not easy to mix a personal and professional relationship.”

 

“It’s seemed to work out all right for Mom and Lee,” Phillip stated testily.

 

In the uncomfortable hush that followed Phillip’s remark, Amanda couldn’t help but look at her husband. Their eyes met for a moment before he pointedly looked away. He adjusted the bow on Jenny’s ponytail with infinite care. Even Phillip seemed at a loss for words and Amanda saw her older sons exchange a puzzled glance.

 

“I think I should check on that birthday cake,” Amanda mumbled, beating a hasty retreat and heading for the back door.

 

“I’ll give you a hand, dear,” Dotty announced, rising from her chair.

 

“That’s okay, Mother, I’ve got it,” she called hastily over her shoulder. She didn’t feel up to her mother’s probing questions right now.

 

Amanda sighed in relief as she reached the quiet sanctuary of her kitchen. Leaning on the counter, she drew several deep, calming breaths. Her shoulders slumped and she fought down her tears. Don’t fall apart now, Amanda, she chided. Not with a patio full of guests. There’s plenty of time for that later.

 

“Amanda?”

 

At the sound of Francine’s voice, she snapped to attention, straightening her shoulders and blinking away the remaining tears.

 

“Do you need some help?”

 

She heard the kindness in her simple words.  Somehow, it almost made her feel worse.

 

“No,” she replied haltingly, her hand smoothing a lock of hair. “I was just…ah…looking for the birthday candles. I can’t seem to remember where I put them.”

 

“Sit down and let me look.”

 

“Francine…”

 

“Amanda, don’t argue.” She raised her brows, her blue eyes enlarging to emphasize her words. “I’m more than capable of locating five candles and putting them on a cake.”

 

“Okay, you win.” She rested her chin on the palm of her hand as Francine conducted her systematic search. She had the routine down perfectly.

 

“So,” Francine began as she carefully inserted the pink candles into the cake. “I take it things are as strained at home as they are at work.”

 

“Yes,” Amanda admitted with a frown. “Although I was hoping to get through the day without that being too obvious.”

 

“You’ve got to give it some time, Amanda. It’s been a rough summer… for all of us.”

 

Amanda could hear the mixture of sympathy and pain in her friend’s voice. “I know… so many changes.”

 

Francine rested against the counter, her right hand smoothing the cuff on her blouse.  At least Jeannie seems to be doing better.”

 

“Sometimes I don’t know how she does it. I really admire her.”

 

“She probably spent a lot of years preparing herself for this scenario.”

 

“I wonder if you can ever really be prepared for something like this. Billy was administration - he was supposed to be ‘safe’.” Amanda paused, her fingers massaging her forehead.

 

“Yeah,” Francine concurred, shifting her gaze to the window. “At least as safe as you can be in this business.”

 

“Even when you live with the possibility every day, you never really think…” She broke off, remembering that day so many years ago when Billy stood in her living room on Maplewood Drive and told her Lee was dead. She could still feel the cold finality of those words, the pain mixed with a smoldering anger at the capriciousness of life. They’d been wrong that time, Lee had come back to her… but Amanda knew she’d rather die herself than ever go through that pain again.

 

 “Has Lee said anything more about taking Billy’s job? Cartwright is pushing for a decision.”

 

“Not really. I know he’s still considering it. Although,” she added bitterly, “he’d probably be more likely to discuss it with you than me these days.”

 

“Amanda,” Francine said sternly, moving quickly towards her friend. “Lee loves you.  You can’t doubt that. It’s patently obvious to anyone with eyes.”

 

Amanda smiled as she felt Francine’s comforting hand on her shoulder. Motherhood had taught her the importance of touch. The Francine Desmond she had met all those years ago would never have comforted her that way.

 

“I know he does,” she replied in a small voice. “Unfortunately, love isn’t the issue.”

 

Francine nodded sadly. “I know.” She turned her attention to the cake, straightening the candles with infinite care. “Well, I think that’s perfect. Shall we head outside and feed the birthday girl?”

 

“Tell them I’ll be out in a minute.” Amanda rose wearily from the chair. “I just want to find the special birthday plate.”

 

“Okay,” Francine said, hesitating for a fraction of a second before she left. “You sure you’re all right?”

 

“I will be.”

 

She heard the door click shut as Francine left her alone and she shivered, the words echoing in her ears…

 

“You sure you’re all right?” she asked him, rubbing the goose bumps on her arms. It was unseasonably cool for the tenth of June.

 

Lee sat at the kitchen table, his head in his hands. “I will be. It’s just been a horrendous day.”

 

Amanda nodded. Horrendous didn’t even begin to cover it. Everyone at the funeral today seemed to wear the same shell-shocked expression. In a business where death in the ‘line of duty’ was part and parcel of their everyday routine, they had seemed remarkably ill prepared for it to happen to Billy Melrose.

 

She placed a comforting hand on Lee’s shoulder. “I just never believed…” He left the thought unfinished as he turned and buried his head in her chest.

 

Her arms closed around him, her fingers moving soothingly through the short hair on the back of his neck.

 

“I’m going to miss him, Amanda.”

 

“I know. I will, too. Earlier, at the service, I kept thinking about the first time we met. In his office, after that Mrs. Welch business.” Amanda smiled, her hands tenderly cradling her husband’s head. “It’s funny, after all these years, that’s what sticks in my mind. The beginning, not the end.”

 

“I’ll always be grateful that he wouldn’t let me get rid of you.” He pulled her down into his lap, smiling at the memory. “He knew right away what it took me years to see.”

 

“That’s why they paid him the big bucks,” she rejoined, repeating the line Billy Melrose had used with persistent regularity over the years.

 

“It’s not fair, you know,” Lee said bitterly. “He was eight months away from retirement. He and Jeannie were finally going to take that world cruise he’d been talking about for years…”

 

“I know. Nobody ever promised life was fair.” Her lips brushed across his forehead. “I think you told me that once.”

 

“They’re not going to get away with it,” Lee stated, the venom pouring through his words. “And that’s one statement I can assure you is fair. I intend to see to it personally.”

 

He stood up, sliding her gently off his lap. “Lee…”

 

He hugged her lightly, his lips barely grazing hers as he headed towards the door. “I’m goin’ out for a while,” he mumbled as he grabbed his car keys. “I need to do some thinkin’.”

 

“Do you want some company? I could call Mother to come over…”

 

“I think I need to be alone,” he said, his eye meeting hers in a prayer for understanding. 

 

“Go ahead.” She wished she knew the words to comfort him. She could feel his pain even across the room. It was almost a living thing, reaching out to crush them both.  “Take all the time you need. I’ll wait up for you if you want,” she managed to choke out.

 

“Okay.” He hesitated for a minute, his hand on the doorknob, and he turned to her with a sad smile. “Thank you.”

 

The anguish on his face closed around her heart like a vise…

 

With a start, Amanda jerked herself back to the present. Through the screen door, she heard Jenny noisily demanding her cake.

 

“Hold on,” she called. “Mommy’s coming…”

 

 

 

Chapter Two

Sunday, August 25, 1996

“Lee”

 

He was almost to the garage door when he spotted them. His stepsons were leaning against Amanda’s car, their backs to him. They were too engrossed in whatever they were discussing to hear his quiet footsteps. He couldn’t help but smile as he paused for a moment to observe them through the window. He still couldn’t believe that these two tall young men were the same little kids he’d watched in a similar fashion through Amanda’s windows on Maplewood Drive.

 

Those days were long past now, the old house destroyed in a blinding explosion on that fateful night so many years ago. That event had marked the beginning of his official role as their stepfather. A relationship he’d entered into hesitatingly at first, but that had enriched his life tenfold. Lee Stetson, family man. There was a day when he would never have recognized that description as his. Phillip and Jamie had shown him what it really meant to belong to a family, to be a father. Matthew and Jenny now reaped the benefit of the lessons his stepsons had taught him.

 

He started to announce his presence when the last part of Phillip’s sentence caught him off-guard.

 

“…you didn’t tell me they were having problems.”

 

“That’s because I had no idea,” came Jamie’s subdued reply. “They’ve been kinda quiet since they got back, but I thought that was because of Billy.”

 

“You’re the one who’s been around – you should know what’s going on.”

 

“I don’t live here anymore, Phillip,” he heard Jamie shoot back. “You didn’t see them when they were in New York? Or were you too busy with Kate to notice?”

 

“They were working. Kate and I called a few times, but...” A note of panic crept into his voice. “God, you don’t think that’s it, do you? Do you think they found out we’re living together?”

 

“I don’t think so.  You really are paranoid, you know. Must be feeling guilty for hiding it from Mom and Lee. Not to mention Dad and Carrie.”

 

“I’m not afraid to tell Mom. Actually, she would probably take it better,” was Phillip’s philosophic reply. “Dad seems too determined these days to organize my life. And don’t psychoanalyze me… you’re not quite ‘Doctor’ King yet.”

 

“I don’t need an advanced degree to figure you out. Tell them… you’ll feel better.”

 

He heard Phillip’s exasperated sigh. “I plan to. I just thought maybe they had enough to deal with, after everything that happened. And now, I don’t want to add to their problems…”

 

Lee rounded the corner and entered the garage, coughing loudly to make sure they heard his entrance.

 

“Hey guys,” he said with a guilty grin. He really shouldn’t spy on his family, but past experience had taught him that a parent often learned some interesting things that way. He never dreamed his professional training would be so useful in his personal life.   “I didn’t know you two were in here.”

 

They didn’t believe that one for a minute. He saw Phillip and Jamie exchange a nervous glance, wondering exactly how much he’d overheard.

 

“I was looking for those storage boxes I left here,” Phillip said quickly.  “I thought Mom said they were in the garage.”

 

Lee wasn’t fooled. Phillip wore that same guilty expression the day he’d borrowed the Corvette without permission to impress his girlfriend… and had that unfortunate altercation with a tree.

 

Lee smiled at the memory.  Time had blurred the edges of his anger over that incident.  Looking back now, he only remembered his relief that Phillip and Julie had both emerged unscathed. If only his beloved car had been so lucky. Poor Phillip – he’d spent the rest of the summer working to pay off the repair bill. At least he’d learned a valuable life lesson. Flashy, expensive cars were equally expensive to fix.

 

He turned to his stepson with a smile. “I suppose you thought you’d con your brother into carrying your stuff.”

 

“Yup. Only they don’t seem to be here.”

 

“Then I have no idea where you should look,” Lee said, retrieving a baseball mitt from the large box in the corner. “You’ll have to ask your mother.”

 

He caught their anxious exchange at the mention of Amanda’s name. Phillip looked pointedly at his brother. Lee suppressed a sigh.  Evidently Jamie had been elected spokesperson. For all that he and Phillip had in common, it was Amanda’s younger son that he’d developed a special rapport with over the years. It was something he’d never have predicted, given their shaky beginning.

 

He folded his arms across his chest, leaning back against the wall for support.  “Okay, guys, out with it. What is it you’re trying to ask me?”

 

Jamie cleared his throat, pausing as if to turn each word over carefully in his head.

 

“Phillip and I were just saying that Matty seems a little quieter than usual,” he began tentatively. “We were wondering if everything was okay with him.”

 

Lee smiled sadly. “He’s okay, fellas. He’s had a rough summer. Billy was his godfather. And he’s seen how upset we’ve all been. I’m afraid I haven’t done a very good job of hiding it.”

 

Jamie nodded solemnly. “It’s his first experience with losing someone.”

 

“Yeah.” Lee looked away, remembering his own first experience with inexplicable loss. For a minute he saw the face of a confused five year old in the windowpane before his own image snapped back into place.  At least his son had been spared the pain of losing a parent. He should be grateful for that.

 

“I should come by more often,” he heard Jamie state guiltily.

 

Lee turned away from the window and patted him comfortingly on the back. “You’re too hard on yourself, Jamie. You’ve been busy with school and work. We all understand that.”

 

“Still, being busy is no excuse.”

 

Lee could hear the echo of his mother in Jamie’s words.  They really were very much alike. He suspected it was that likeness that had in the end drawn them closer together.

 

“We’re always glad to see you, you know that. I know it means a lot to your mother that you both could make it for Jenny’s birthday.” He included Phillip in his glance. “Kate, too.”

 

Phillip’s face reddened at the mention of Kate’s name, while Jamie finally found the courage to state the question they really wanted to ask.

 

“Speaking of Mom… Phillip and I were wondering if everything was okay with her… with both of you.”

 

Lee avoided their gaze. That was a tougher question to answer. How do you define ‘okay’? If the very fabric of your life had been ripped apart, then clumsily stitched back together, were you ‘okay’? He didn’t know.

 

“I won’t deny it’s been a pretty bad month,” he began, trying to be as truthful as he could. “It has nothing to do with you guys. Some stuff from work just spilled over into our personal life.” His hold on the truth slipped a little as he added, “Don’t worry, we’ll work things out.”

 

 “Why do I feel like I’ve heard that same speech before?” He saw the skepticism written on Philip’s face as he added, “Right before Mom and Dad divorced.”

 

Lee shifted uncomfortably. “I think you’re getting a little ahead of yourself. People have problems all time, Phillip. It doesn’t mean they always have to end in divorce.” He fervently hoped that was true. “And you know,” he added, taking the heat off his personal life, “if you’re adult enough to be involved in a serious relationship yourself, then you’re adult enough to understand that.”

 

“Oh, sh...” he stopped himself. “You guys know? How did you find out?”

 

“We have our ways,” Lee laughed. “And your mother doesn’t know.”

 

“Are you going to tell her?” Phillip asked nervously.

 

“No, you are… before you leave, okay?” He raised an eyebrow as he looked at Phillip. Over the years, he’d found he could accomplish more with that expression than by raising his voice.

 

“Okay, I will,” Phillip replied reluctantly.

 

“Good. Jamie’s right, you’ll feel better.” He smiled at his stepson, wondering when he’d grown into such a pragmatic young man. He was proud of the part he’d played in shaping his life.  “Your dad and Carrie were getting ready to leave a few minutes ago. I think they wanted to say goodbye.”

 

They both nodded and headed for the door.  Lee tossed the mitt in Jamie’s direction. “Give this to Matthew and tell him I’ll be there in a few minutes, okay?’

 

“Sure.”

 

He could hear the muffled concern in Jamie’s voice and he knew he hadn’t succeeded in reassuring him. They were both still worried. Hell, for that matter, so was he. ‘Pretty bad’ was a poor epithet for the strain of the last few months. It had permeated every part of their lives. No wonder everyone was now caught in the emotional backlash. He closed his eyes, remembering…

 

“I can’t believe I’m hearing you correctly,” Amanda said, her eyes flashing expressively. Her words were measured and low since they were in his office, but he could hear the anger underscoring everything she said.

 

“Amanda, please...”

 

"It’s not even your jurisdiction. This went down in New York. Shouldn’t this be Pierce’s territory?”

 

John Pierce was his counterpart in the New York office. He was more than capable, but surely Amanda didn’t really think he could leave the investigation into Billy’s murder with him? It was the beginning of July and they still hadn’t made any real progress on the case.

 

“I asked Cartwright to give it to me.” He explained carefully, so she’d understand that this really was his decision.

 

“And he didn’t have a problem with crossing the ‘official’ boundaries?”

 

“Well, since he’s been hinting about giving me the East Coast Operations Chief position, he seemed more than happy to oblige.”

 

He couldn’t meet her eye as he offered that last piece of information. Cartwright, the Agency’s director, had in fact been pushing him to accept for the past few weeks. He still wasn’t sure. Amanda had been working in his administrative section ever since she’d come out of the field eight years ago. If he filled the hole Billy’s death had created, he knew he’d be breaking up their professional partnership a second time.

 

“We both know what you’re talking about here,” his wife replied heatedly. “You don’t intend to run this case administratively.”

 

She looked at him knowingly, with eyes that seemed to see right into his soul. It was one of the few disadvantages of working with someone who knew him so well. He let go of the breath he’d been holding.  At least she didn’t seem inclined to discuss his promotion at the moment.

 

“I just can’t sit back and let someone else handle this.”

 

“You promised, Lee,” she said sadly. “When our son was born… no more field work.”

 

That tone bothered him more than her anger. That he could deal with in kind. But to know what he was doing was going to hurt her cut so much deeper.

 

“If there was any other way, don’t you think I’d do it?” he asked in quiet desperation.

 

“There is another way. You just don’t choose to use it.” She sighed loudly as she sank down on the couch. “Part of you wants to be ‘back in the action’. Don’t deny it.”

 

He walked over and sat beside her, taking her hand gently in his. His fingers rubbed over her wedding and engagement rings. “I’ve never regretted the decision to leave the field,” he said in a low voice. “Our family means everything to me, you know that.”

 

“Then don’t risk it now,” she pleaded.

 

“That’s just it, Amanda. This is about family, too.  Billy was our son’s godfather. Damn it, he was practically a father to me. And I won’t wait another thirty years to put this to rest.”

 

“I know how long it took you to finally put your parents’ death behind you, but…”

 

“I have to do something, Amanda. I can’t live with this one.”

 

He heard her sharp intake of breath and he ran his hand caressingly over her arm. “You’ve got to understand, Billy was always there for me. When I was a freshman, he’s the one who showed me the ropes. He went out on a limb for me professionally more times than I care to remember. And personally….”

 

He paused, drawing in a deep breath before continuing. “He’s the one who picked me up after I drank myself into oblivion the night Eric died. He let me in to see you when you were in the hospital after Birol…you know. And he kept me sane the night Matthew was born and we didn’t know if you two would live or die.” He turned away to hide his anguish. “I owe him.”

 

She read his distress anyway. He felt her hand touch him tenderly, her fingers caressing the tense muscles on his shoulders. It was amazing what that could do to him, even after all these years. He felt the tension slowly begin to evaporate. “I can take care of myself,” he added softly. “I promise.”

 

He heard her sigh of resignation and instinctively knew he had won this round. She squeezed his shoulder one more time. “If you’re determined to do this – well, okay, then,” she said in reluctant agreement before calmly blowing him out of the water with her next statement.

 

“I’m going with you.”

 

He felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end and he wrenched himself away. Rising, he turned to face her, pulling himself up to his full height as he enunciated plainly, “You most certainly are not.”

 

She gave him a determined smile. “Sorry. It’s non-negotiable.”

 

“Amanda…”

 

“You aren’t doing this alone, Scarecrow. Get used to the idea.”

 

She moved off the sofa to stand in front of him. He found his senses suddenly assaulted by the provocative scent of her perfume. He took a step back to keep a buffer zone between them.

 

“I understand how you’re feeling,” she said as she took a step forward, refusing to allow his retreat.  “Billy was family to me, too.”

 

He looked into his wife’s brown eyes and saw his own grief over Billy’s death. He stopped running and slowly opened his arms.

 

“I can take care of myself, too, you know,” she whispered against his chest. “It’ll be okay.”

 

He said nothing, simply held her tighter. He could argue all he wanted, but in the end she would still do exactly what she wanted. After all this time, they were more alike in that than he cared to think. At least working together had one advantage. He could make sure she was safe…

 

Make sure she was ‘safe’… Lee shook his head sadly. He should have known better. He should have locked her up in an Agency holding cell so she couldn’t follow him. He’d been such a fool to think he could protect her. You couldn’t protect anyone in this business.

 

He shook off the memories as he heard the commotion in the front of the house. The guests were leaving. He really should say his goodbyes. With a loud sigh, he headed towards the noise.

 

 

 

Chapter Three

Sunday, August 25, 1996

“Amanda”

 

Amanda glanced around the room one more time. Everything was in its place, the last remains of the birthday party finally swept away. She stood for a minute in the quiet solitude of her immaculate kitchen.

 

After all the guests had finally departed, Amanda felt herself beginning to fade. She didn’t know where Phillip, Kate and Jamie had found the strength to go out. Must be that boundless energy you seem to have in your twenties. When Lee volunteered to take over the kids’ bedtime, she had gratefully accepted.

 

She switched off the light and climbed the stairs. She paused at the landing, listening for a minute on the way to her bedroom.  She could hear Lee in Jenny’s room, reading her favorite story.

 

“You missed a part, Daddy.” Her daughter’s sleepy voice reached her in the hall.

 

“Did I?” she heard Lee laugh. Amanda grinned, too. Jenny always seemed to know when they tried to shorten her bedtime ritual. Tired as she was, she was still determined to hear every word.

 

“Yeah. Now you have to start at the beginning.”

 

Amanda could almost picture her small head nodding authoritatively. She heard Lee obligingly start the story again. He was such a pushover where their daughter was concerned. From her first breath, she had completely captured her father’s heart.

 

Jenny was their ‘miracle’, the baby the doctors told her she’d never have. After the complications of Matthew’s birth, neither of them had minded not being able to have another child. The drama of their son’s untimely arrival had taken its toll. They had no desire to relive the experience. When she’d discovered that she was pregnant again at the age of 41, they were both in a state of shock.

 

Despite the doctor’s predictions, it had been an easy pregnancy. It was almost as if this child was destined to be. And the first time she saw her daughter, she had fallen in love. Jenny seemed to have that effect on her entire family. Everyone doted on her. Amanda knew they had all been blessed.

 

Stifling a yawn, she started towards her room, stopping for a minute to check on Matthew. Instead of in bed, she found him sitting at his desk playing with his miniature soldiers.

 

“Hey buddy, you’re up kind of late, aren’t you?” She tousled his hair affectionately.

 

“Just a few more minutes, Mom,” he begged. “I’m not that tired. Besides, Dad said he’d be in when he finished with Jenny.”

 

He looked up at her with his father’s questioning expression. She no longer wondered what Lee had looked like as a child. The answer was sitting right in front of her. Their son was the mirror image of his father; identical hazel eyes, that captivating smile. His face even wore the same look of pointed concentration as he solemnly moved his little soldiers around the table. Only the hair color was different, Matthew’s a few shades lighter and streaked by the summer sun.  It was little wonder that Francine’s daughter always shadowed him with such obvious admiration. Amanda had to smile… that devastating Stetson charm, clearly evident even at seven years old.

 

She bent over and kissed him goodnight. “A few more minutes, then right into bed, okay?”

 

“Okay. ‘Night Mom.”

 

“Night, sweetheart,” she called as she headed into her own room. Closing the door, she sank down on the bed. The strain of the afternoon seemed to have finally caught up to her. She felt a hundred years old.

 

Lee used to have a sure-fired cure for that feeling - bubble bath, champagne and a full body massage. She smiled at the memory. Thinking back, that was probably exactly how their daughter had been conceived.

 

A bath would feel good tonight, though, she thought with a sigh. If only she had the strength to move.  Pushing herself off the bed, she entered the bathroom. Wearily, she ran the water, breathing deeply as the room filled with steam and the scent of jasmine. Shedding her clothes, she slipped beneath the bubbles, the warm water covering her like a silken blanket. She lay back and closed her eyes, feeling herself begin to unwind.

 

Amanda loved the master bathroom. Lee had redone it for her as an anniversary present. That year she’d spent the 13th of February in the hospital, recovering from Matthew’s birth. When she came home, this surprise was waiting for her. There were two crews working around the clock to finish it in time, he’d told her with a proud grin. The best feature was this tub, a large Jacuzzi exactly like the one on the island where they’d spent their second honeymoon only the year before. Lee had whispered that it might be a while until they could christen it properly, but promised the wait would be worth it. As usual, his prediction had been absolutely right.

 

She heard a noise in the bedroom and opened her eyes. “Lee,” she called hesitantly, “is Jenny settled in?”

 

“Yeah, finally,” he answered with loud sigh. He sounded tired. The door opened slowly and he stuck his head in. “She was pretty wound up.”

 

“I know. She’s been looking forward to her party for weeks.” Amanda smiled at her husband. “A whole day with you.”

 

Lee smiled, too, his eye catching hers for a minute. She shifted slightly in the tub, the water splashing and displacing some of the bubbles. She watched her husband’s expression slowly change, his eyes filled with a hunger she hadn’t seen in a long time.

 

“Lee…” she began in a soft voice.

 

“Matthew’s in bed, too,” he interrupted, looking away abruptly. “I’m going downstairs to, ah, get a glass of water.”

 

“I can remember a time when seeing me in this tub would send you downstairs for wine, not water,” she muttered in disappointment.

 

He stopped for a minute, his hand on the doorframe. “It’s hard, Amanda,” he said at last, still refusing to look at her.

 

“It’s hard for me, too.”

 

“I know that. We’ve just got to give it some more time.” He looked at her again, then quickly turned away. “Do you want anything?” he asked, resolutely keeping his eyes on the floor.

 

“No,” she answered sadly, adding under her breath as she watched his retreating form, “what I want, you don’t seem able to give me.”

 

She leaned forward, hugging her knees to her chest. The bubbles tickled her nose and she closed her eyes…

 

“That feels wonderful,” she sighed as Lee deftly washed her back. She leaned forward, the bubbles tickling her nose playfully.

 

“I’m glad you like it,” he said, his voice warm and inviting. She felt his lips brush across her neck as he finished in a whisper, “I aim to please.”

 

His hand slipped lower as he continued his massage. Amanda sighed softly. She leaned back, resting her head against his arm. She felt his other hand tenderly caress her face.

 

“Why don’t you get rid of that robe and join me?”

 

He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll be right there. Do you want some more wine?”

 

“Not if you have to leave this bathroom to get it.”

 

“Nope. Brought the bottle up here with me.”

 

“In that case, I’d love some.”

 

She smiled as she watched him refill their glasses. Setting them on the flat ledge on the side of the Jacuzzi, he quickly discarded his robe and slid in behind her. She fitted her back against his chest and his arms closed around her.

 

“It was nice of mother to take the kids for the night. It’s convenient that she’s so close.”

 

“Yeah. See, I told you that stable on the back of the property would come in handy.”

 

“Are you comparing my mother to a horse, Stetson?”

 

“No,” he answered with a laugh. “I love your mother, you know that. But I also love having the house to ourselves.” As if to prove his point, his hands began to wander.

 

She let out an appreciative sigh. “I have to agree with you there.”

 

“I thought you might,” he laughed, curtailing his explorations for a minute as he handed her the wine glass. “To more evenings like this.”

 

She clinked their glasses in response. “With our children safely tucked away at Mother’s.”

 

Amanda relaxed, settling her head in the crook of his neck. The kids enjoyed nothing better than spending the night at their grandmother’s ‘car’ house, as Jenny called it. After Matthew was born, they had converted the old stable into a comfortable carriage house for Dotty. Amanda enjoyed having her mother nearby, still a part of their daily lives. But she suspected the added privacy was something Dotty appreciated, too.

 

She took a sip of wine, feeling the warmth spread through the length of her body. Lee picked up the washcloth, wringing it out and letting the drops trickle down her chest. He traced their path lightly with his finger.

 

Amanda sighed contentedly. “I’m glad we could grab some time alone before we go to New York.”

 

She could feel his body tense behind her and she mentally kicked herself. She’d been too relaxed to monitor what she said. Even though Lee had reluctantly ag